Small Glowing Hand/Glove Combo

Suspicious Glowing Gloves!

Suspicious Glowing Gloves!

“Small Glowing Hand/Glove Combo”

It floated there before me
Defying physics and scientific hokum.
Made of felt and glittery, see?
From another planet it had come.

Did it come in peace I asked
Why did it glow so fantastically?
Should I run, could I be arsed
And would it probe me scientifically?!

It glowed and floated, alone in it’s thoughts
A single half of a pair of something sinister.
Lord only knows what here it sought,
So at that point I called up the Minister.

Government bods and gents of suit
Sallied forth and soon had things under control.
And by noon I was given the Whitehall boot
Too lowly to be needed in any further role.

And now, 20 years have passed by
The world is run by alien hand/glove combos.
And I must say, I did at least try
To fight back with my super atomic toes.

I failed!

Capers By The Fireside

Thats one GIANT cock!

That's one GIANT cock!

“Capers By The Fireside”

It was interesting when
My old Uncle Ben
Decided then
To create an atomic super-giant crossbow hen.

He started out to begin
With some old skin
From a bin
And by 5 o’clock he was already onto the chin.

And by Tuesday next week
Aided by a Greek
The hen did speak
And what it said was “Oh, boy I really need a leak!”

We sold the crossbow hen to
An army man who
Paid us two
Million pounds and promised the hen would be painted blue.

We saw the hen on the TV news
Wearing seven league shoes
Jumping bus queues
And ending its life at the end of a lynch-mobs’ noose.

How sad!

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