Complicated Carrots

Some Complicated Carrots!

Some Complicated Carrots!

“Complicated Carrots”

Twelve of them came out of the secret army base,
Two pairs of six or six pairs of two.
Each had two ears, a nose and a face,
All had a name, and that name was Sue.

Unveiled by the General the twelve stood proud,
Ten in their uniforms, two in white lab coats.
The cheering went on for an hour, incredibly loud,
While the twelve rode off in their green army boats.

Six of the twelve remained and worked for the army,
Four of them launched their own dot com.
The other two married, had kids, acted barmy,
When the President ordered they be killed by a bomb.

The twelve, plus four kids, ran off to the hills,
To plot and scheme Machiavellian plans.
Their time in the forces had taught them great skills,
Even though they’d be born without any hands!

So where is the group of complicated carrots?
Are we safe from their wrath and revenge?
Maybe they’ve mutated into bright orange parrots?
Or they’ll become the mere stuff of weird legend?!

Hmmmm…makes you think, eh?

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Capers By The Fireside

Thats one GIANT cock!

That's one GIANT cock!

“Capers By The Fireside”

It was interesting when
My old Uncle Ben
Decided then
To create an atomic super-giant crossbow hen.

He started out to begin
With some old skin
From a bin
And by 5 o’clock he was already onto the chin.

And by Tuesday next week
Aided by a Greek
The hen did speak
And what it said was “Oh, boy I really need a leak!”

We sold the crossbow hen to
An army man who
Paid us two
Million pounds and promised the hen would be painted blue.

We saw the hen on the TV news
Wearing seven league shoes
Jumping bus queues
And ending its life at the end of a lynch-mobs’ noose.

How sad!

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