Daily Poetry – #1

Kick Ass Puppy - Trained At The Ninja Dojo

Kick Ass Puppy - Trained At The Ninja Dojo

I’ve been writing silly & surreal poetry for about 15 years now, and have had a collection of them published in the US.  In advance of the release of a new collection later this year (“The Man Who Mistook His Life For An Act”), I thought I would share some of them with you here on the blog.  Hope you like it, I am gonna post a new poem here every day, so do pop back for more!So here’s #1:

“Kick Ass Puppy”

Trained to fight in a hundred styles
Trained to hunt using only his wiles
Trained to make love to beautiful foes
Trained to tell fortunes using only his toes
Trained to speak in a thousand tongues
Trained to yell at the top of his lungs
Trained to run as fast as a cheetah
Trained to know his quarts from his litres
Trained in the art of espionage
Trained not to laugh at Little and Large
Trained to add up, subtract and divide
Trained to eat calamari, fresh or fried
Trained to be everywhere and nowhere at once
Trained to be intelligent but appear like the dunce
Trained to use crayons as deadly weapons
Trained to endure sixteen fresh lemons
Trained to use ancient mind techniques
Trained to mend pipes and repair leaks
Trained to be stealthy, cunning and sly
Trained to know when it’s OK to cry
Trained to use his fur as distraction
Trained to be cute to get a little action
Trained to bark once for yes and twice for no
Trained at the Ninja Kick Ass Puppy dojo


About hokusbloke
30-something radio producer/director/writer, owner & MD of Ladbroke Productions (the UK's oldest independent radio production company). Lover of far fetched fiction, scifi and fantasy, my cats and all thinks tech. I am also the Chair of the Radio Independents Group, a former Trustee of the Radio Academy, and a Fellow of the RSA. I co-wrote, produced and directed Robert Rankin's "The Brightonomicon" audio series, produce Dr Who audiobooks for the BBC, and directed several sci-fi radio plays for BBC Radio 4 in 2009. I am a strong advocate for more SF audio and radio...keep watching this space for upcoming news!

3 Responses to Daily Poetry – #1

  1. humanbot says:

    Really cute poem. I like it.

  2. Cheryl Gardner says:

    Wish I could write poetry like you – this is great

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